A Stiff Ticking Off
Here’s my entry into a recent NYC Midnight 500-Word Fiction Challenge. I had forty-eight hours to write a comedy featuring an object of their choice (a coaster) and an activity (nooo…skinny-dipping!). I was pleased to get an Hon. Ment. despite being well out of my comfort zone.
Image by Timothe Durand
“I love these new coasters,” Amelia said as she unpacked a consignment of promotional materials from the brewery. The circular table mats were part of the latest campaign to promote a range of fruity beers - ever more popular as the hot summer wore on. She knew the mats would disappear from the pub as fast as she put them out but, for now, the suppliers were happy to keep sending replacements.
Each coaster featured a vivid pop-art fruit: a single blueberry, a melon, or a banana. Beside the fruit was an embossed logo, a foaming pint of Stiffy’s Ale with the proud challenge, ‘Have a Stiffy on Us!’
Nic was washing glasses behind the bar as Amelia glanced through the open door, sunlight flickering off the nearby lake casting a dappled light around the stacked tables and chairs. The pub sat beside a wildlife reservoir, a small sandy beach leading to the water. It was always a popular spot at this time of year.
“Put those coasters out, would you Nic?” she called, as she set out the chairs.
“Sure, boss!” he grinned.
Nic was tall and tanned. He flirted lightly with Amelia, partly because he liked her but also because he enjoyed winding up Rob, the bespectacled college kid busy stocking the refrigerator, who adored her but could barely string a sentence together in her presence.
The evening came and went, a whirl of clients, cocktails, spilt drinks and raucous laughter with Nic throwing in the occasional jibe. “Hey Rob, Amelia needs a Stiffy!” he called at one point.
“Shut it, Nic!” She retorted as Rob blushed and busied himself clearing glasses.
As the last customer left Amelia asked, “Guys can you lock up? I need to get away early tonight.”
Later, with just the crickets and a pair of owls for company Nic gazed over the lake. “Rob, let’s go skinny dipping,” he called as he started tearing off his clothes. “I dare you.”
“Awe come on…” Rob protested.
“Twenty quid says you won’t do it.”
Rob laughed and accepted the challenge. They ran naked across the beach and into the still water. The stresses of the evening fell away as Rob joined Nic in the horseplay – racing, hurling water and washing away the sweat of a long shift.
“Okay, I’m heading in now, where’s that twenty quid?” Rob finally demanded.
They ambled back to the pub, glistening, dripping, and joshing,
“Well, I’ll think about it...”
“You bloody owe me!”
Too late they saw Amelia stand up from behind the bar.
“Sorry guys, I forgot my …”
“…Christ!” all three exclaimed.
In the split second they saw her both men grabbed coasters to cover themselves. Rob concealed his masculinity with a melon, a pear and a banana.
Amelia’s horror faded to recognition.
“Just the one coaster for you, Nic,” she noted archly, “and …a blueberry?” Shoving past them to leave she added, “I hope to see a bit less of you tomorrow, gentlemen.”
